Thank You Just Isn't Enough

I've experienced a lot of emotions during the last 2 weeks.  Panic, sadness, denial, pain, joy, hope, peace, anger, loneliness, faith and confusion.

But two emotions keep hitting me over and over again -- love and gratitude for that love.

From the moment I could tell from the look on the radiologist face that something was seriously wrong -- love and concern has been showed over and over and over again.

From the Dr's., nurses, aids, receptionists, aids -- to my sweet husband (who by the way is giving me shots each morning in the stomach... not something I think he signed up for 20+ years ago), kids, my dad, my siblings and spouses, nieces and nephews, extended family, friends, neighbors, ward members and everyone around me.

I have literally been engulfed by love -- and engulfed is probably an understatement.

Cards, flowers, treats, txts, emails, phone calls, visits, prayers, funny thoughts, meals, storage containers, books, rides for my kids, help for Dave, talking me through tears, offers for doing laundry, tips for colon cleansing, carpooling the kids, balloons, things to cheer up the house, laughter, foot rubs while dying of nausea at the hospital, a sweet nurse who held my hand while I needed to cry in the middle of the night and another nurse who high-fived Dave and I and cheered with us when my 'bowels" started working again, some family members petrified of hospitals putting that aside and sitting by my bed, taking over my errands, sleepless nights in my hospital room so I didn't have to be alone, hugs, concern for my kids... the list goes on and on and on.

I don't have time to feel sorry for myself or worry right now, because I have felt so much love from so many people.  I know Heavenly Father loves me and is watching me -- and He is doing it through all of the people around me.

It may sound morbid, but I thought it is like attending your own funeral and getting to see how much people care.  The great thing is, I get to experience that overwhelming love in person!!!

It has make me realize how much little things means to other people and how much I tend to be wrapped up in my own life and problems -- how much reaching out to those around you can mean.

I would definitely say that Weeks 1 & 2 of this experience have been well... not what I would ever have chosen to go through, but feeling the love and concern I have felt has made it a do'able for me.