I Can Do Hard Things?

I Can Do Hard Things... this is supposed to be a statement from Youth Conference a few years back.  I even have a placque hanging above my computer that reminds me of this.  I have several favorite scriptures marked that I read when I'm discouraged.


The problem is right now it feels more like a question than a statement.


I had no idea 3 weeks ago what I would be doing today.  I had no idea the horrible "stuff" that was growing in my body.  I had no idea how lousy I could feel, how much my stomach muscles could ache, and how slow it can be to feel normal again.  (And I feel like I need to apologize to every person I know who has had surgery and health problems... if I had only known what it was really like for them.)


By nature my first instinct when faced with something hard or intimidating is to run the other direction.  Some people love the challenge, want to face trials and defeat them...not me.  I just want to pretend they aren't happening and make everything go back to normal.  Problem is -- I've decided normal is just a state of mind.  Normal is exactly what you are dealing with at that given time.  It is ok to have goals and dreams and desires, but trying to define and wish for normal doesn't do me any good right now.


My sister and Dave told me last night I don't have the option of not doing Hard Things in this case.  That whether I like it or not I am going to have to muddle through it, be patient, feel crappy, have good days and bad days.


I just wish doing Hard Things wasn't so hard!!!