Essay... What I will Be Doing for the Next 6 Months of My Life

Dave and I met with my chemo Dr. yesterday -- Xylia Gregg.  Super nice, very focused and not anything that I had imagined.  (I was sure she was from India...and she is a cute blonde from Texas.)


We outlined the next 6 months of my life, and I'm not gonna lie... I did shed a tear or two when it came time to sit down with the nice appointment scheduling girl and I found out my 1st chemo is at 8:00 am so I can't be here to get my kids off to school.  I just was so hoping we could keep everything between the hours of 9 and 3 so my kids weren't affected... sounds really stupid but a lot of what I feel right now if pretty lame honestly.   And chances are I'll be on a sick week during Cam's baptism so we will need to reschedule that as well.


And I kind of lost in when I got home and started calendaring everything.  A minimum of 30 Dr. appointments between now and July when if all goes well I'm done with chemo.  (Thank heavens for health insurance this year and yeah for this happening early in the year so it all falls in one insurance year and I don't have to meet the deductible 2x... pretty sad when our insurance plans dictate the best time of the year to get sick!)

Plans:

If all goes well I'll start Chemo on March 19th.  I will go on 3 week cycles for 6 cycles.

Week 1:   Monday chemo through my IP (abdominal port), Tuesday venous chemo through my new chest/shoulder port I'm getting to avoid killing off my poor veins. 

Week 2:  Tuesday through my IP port.

Week 3:  Blood tests, start to feel normal and hopefully be high enough blood count to start again on Monday.

She said it is very aggressive and their hopes are I can handle 6 rounds of this... if the side effects get too bad then they will switch to venous only chemo.  She said not all bodies can tolerate all 6 -- it just really depends on how my body reacts to it and hopefully things I can do to help. 

Side effects.... fairly immediate loss of hair (1-3 weeks after 1st chemo), bloating... the IP stuff goes right into by abdominal cavity and stomach just has to absorb it, some women get pretty severe stomach pain, nausea (they said they usually can control pretty well through meds), numbness//tingling in legs/hands (which is their biggest long-term concern because it can be permanent so they really have to watch it and adjust chemo dosing if that is becoming an issue), extreme fatigue, lowered immune system so Hess kids are not allowed to get sick until next fall.  Constipation or diarrhea and change in taste/mouth issues are also side effects.

Things I can do... have great support (which I do), drink a lot, keep hydrated, exercise at least a few times each week (the exercise helps with both the nausea and fatigue if I can get my body out of bed to do it) and eat a good diet.  Dave and I go go chemo classes next Wednesday to find out more. 

Good Things:  She said my age and health are definitely playing in our favor in being able to get through all 6 chemos.  Obese women and older women have a harder time with the IP chemos.

Unknowns:  They are still concerned about my liver.  My CT scan showed something on my liver before surgery, but the radiologist couldn't be positive if it is cyst, a water/blood pocket, or cancer.  The surgeon could not tell anything definitive in surgery.  So the chemo Dr. is having me do an MRI this Monday to zero in on the liver and hopefully definitively rule out it spreading to the liver.  If it has... well a whole new ball game.  They will change the staging of the cancer to Stage 4 and do a different type of chemo.  (And will probably take out my IP port which will really make me mad because that has hurt probably worse than anything since the surgery).  Both oncologists have said it is more likely not cancer than it is cancer, but they can't be certain.  So far my surgeon/oncologist has been 100 percent on everything she has thought so I just pray that her inclination is correct and they get to go on as planned.  Trying my hardest not to focus on this until next week.  There is nothing I do to but pray and worrying is only going to give me a headache. 

So... until we know for sure early next week this is the plan.

I have 6 Dr./labs scheduled between now and March 19th so unfortunately the reality of the cancer part of this is sinking in. 

One of my darling kids is especially is a little freaked out about the hair loss thing.  She so wants me to get a wig and "not look like a sick cancer patient."  Dave (who of course is all about the hats/scarf look) tried to explain that it is very "sheek" to not do the wig thing..   Bless her little heart, she even told me a few people who she thinks has cute hair and says she wishes I could just get a wig and look like one of them.  I know this is a lot to stomach for someone who already wished her mom would pay for her laser hair removal so she never has to shave again and that I would want to 

Lauren and the kids have planned a "hair dying" and "funky cutting" party if i do start to lose my hair.  She asked if I do start to lose it, before I shave my head if I would let Bethany come up and dye it some funky color for a day and if she and the other kids could each help cut it and do something super freeky!  (Kind of like what we did to our carpet the night before they came up and pulled it up a few years ago.)  I did agree to that as long as the Dr. gives me an ok to use chemical on my head... not sure with all of the chemo stuff I want anything else on my head so we may just stick with the funky hair cut part.

So unless we hear differently after the MRI (and I am so praying we don't) I could write my fall essay of "What I did this summer" now.