We'll have Christmas Eve's Together

The girls and I drove out of the cul-de-sac last week to this site. I called Lisa and asked if we can have Christmas Eve's together -- we could just rotate whose house each year. Lisa was a little confused until she looked out the front window to see Olivia and Cameron playing a game of horse.

Cam was so cute with her -- and Livi was quite the little flirt back. Not that I believe in arranged marriages, but I'd be totally happy with Cam marrying any my friend's cute little girls!

Spring? Break!!

Dave and I came home from dinner this evening to this wonderful site... And at the cabin earlier this week I woke up to this beautiful site... I must say I am ready for spring, but the snow sure is gorgeous!!

@$*&@#$*&!#@*& -- Yes it is April Fool's Day

Green milk, green juice, rubberband on sprayer, cups of water on top of each door, salt in glasses/toothbrushes, spiders in sinks, plastic over toilet, shower towels stolen and I could go on and on... yes it is April Fool's Day with Lauren.

Hopefully she won't choke on the plastic spiders I put in her cake and sandwich for lunch!

Mom loves me more because I'm her real child...

Ok… before I explain this story a little bit of background.

• Growing up my sister and I used to always say “I am mom’s favorite – no I am mom’s favorite” etc. Even now we sometimes fight over who is dad’s favorite or who was mom’s favorite.
• My kids have also started that little banter and I “egg” it on a little bit by saying “whoever will hurry and run out and get me jam out of the freezer is my favorite child” and stuff like that.
• A few years ago Cameron was starting to get a complex about not having a birth mother and the girls would kind of tease him for not having one. I’ve always tried to be really open about everything with adoption/sealings/etc. and make sure that none of the kids are internally wondering about what it all means or how I feel about it.

This morning at breakfast Kenzi and Cameron and I were laughing about something and the following conversation occurred:

Kenzi: … so I am mom’s favorite!

Cameron: No I am. I am.

Kenzi: No, I am her favorite.

Cameron: No I am – I’m the only one that was born out of her.

Usually at that point they banter back and forth, I tell them I love them all the same, or Cameron laughs and drops it.

Kenzi: Very sad look on her face.

Cameron: Well it is true. I was the only one born out of her so I am her favorite.

Me: Cameron – you know that isn’t true and it doesn’t matter.

Kenzi: Tears welling up in her eyes.

Me: Cameron, I know we joke about all of this, but you know that it doesn’t matter how you got here, we are all a family and I don’t love anyone differently. Look honey, you’ve made Kenzers feel bad.

Cameron: Face goes red, tears starting running down his cheeks. He can't even look at me or Makenzie.

Kenzi: Face is red, tears are running down her cheeks.

Me: Laughing...that Kenzi is crying because Cameron made her feel bad and then Cameron starts crying because he made Kenzi feel bad. I grab both of their hands and start singing “Cum-by-a”. (sp) Kenzi starts laughing and says I’m weird.

Cameron still distraught that he made his sister feel bad.

In comes a great poem about adoption from the Ensign my choir friend told me about Sunday. I read the poem and we talk about it. Kenzi runs upstairs and gets the Friend – that also had a great story about a family that has both adopted and biological kids. We have a great discussion about sealings, adoption, if Cameron’s friends love their sisters more than Cameron loves Kenzi just because they are “born out of the same mom.”

Finally the tears are gone, we are all smiling and we had a great discussion.

Mom: Good thing Lauren and Dad weren't here -- the non teary Hess' would never understand this!

Random Stuff

Dress up time with the Mayfields ... losing a front tooth (yeah dad put the string on)... Cameron & Livi practicing for their upcoming audition in CSI Utah... blurry YW Basketball (seriously is there anything funnier or more entertaining?)

Kenzi 5th Grade Program

Love the 5th Grade Patriot Program... Kenzi's was a few weeks ago and there is no better way of spending an afternoon than watching these school programs. You have the really excited to be there kids, the kids 1/2 asleep (or in this case laying on the floor bored to death... not Kenzi but this definitely wasn't her favorite performance), and the parents cameras flashing ...

Cam's Hair ... Lauren should become a CIA Hostage Negotiator

Lauren has a way of convincing her brother and sister to do about anything... I've always thought she should be a hostage negotiator.

Cam wanted something the other day... not even sure what it was... she said he could have it if she could style his hair.

The result...

Cam cracks me up...

Cam... 3 things you've done that made me laugh this week.

Monday: In tears because you were afraid to call your friend who you had arranged to walked home with. "It is too hard and too scary." You've come so far since your ultra shy days, but every once in a while it creeps back in. And... dad hates talking on the phone too.

Wednesday morning: Getting lunch together for home lunch to be eaten with the principle during book club. Sees the "love note" I put in his lunch, smiles and very carefully tried to take it out without me seeing. I say "Cam, don't you like my note?" "Well, it is a little embarrassing." Kenzi who begs me every day to put a note in her lunch says "How rude, you don't love mom." That would be way to much pressure on Cam knowing he might feel bad so he picks up the note again and slips it under everything in his lunch to hide it. Me... "its ok you don't have to take it with you if it embarrasses you." Big smile -- quickly takes it out of his lunch..

Wednesday doing homework at Kenzi's performance: I tell him to read his books and follow the instructions. Refuses to do it because it is supposed to be done in different colors. I tell him it is ok and I will write a note on it that tells the teacher I said it was ok. Cam absolutely refuses... "mom that is not right... that isn't what it says to do." Can you say "rule follower" (good), "inflexible" (not so good.)

That stresses me out.... and that makes me happy!

This week I've watched all 3 kids have an event that caused stress in their lives... and events that have made them so happy.. so kids 20 years from now you can look back and know about the stress (and hapiness) you had as a kid.

Stress
Lauren: Can you say "Robert?" A boy at school that endlessly teases her, says he loves her, bothers her with love, calls her "Sunshine" when he sees her in the hall and just gets on her nerves. Even his older sister was tormenting her the other day. She got in the car on Tuesday and I could just see anger/frustration seething from her. After everyone got home she was nearly in tears about how much he drives her crazy. I keep trying to tell her to be flattered by his love, but she just can't see it that way. She was also so frustrated after losing a very close church basketball game... with a high score of 16 - 14 in OT. My sweet little competitor just hates losing.


Kenzi: "No Fun Friday for the following students... Kenzi ...." At school I do Fun Fridays for Kenzi's class. A parent comes in 2x a month and just does some kind of fun activity for those who have all their work in. I did it for Lauren's class last year and have always told the girls if I have to do a "Fun Friday" and they don't get their school work done and can't come to my Fun Friday "I'm not going to be a happy mom." Well this Friday Kenzi and I planned some fun St. Patrick's Day activities -- guess the green candy, leprechaun treasure hunt, and guess the leprechaun. Well when her teacher called her name as someone who couldn't come she looked up at me and her face went white. She missed the entire activity finishing her work and came outside for the last 2 minutes. It was all she could do to not cry and as we all walked back in the class and Kenzi realized she missed the whole thing.


Cam: "Time to go home for bed." We've been watching some BYU basketball at Grandpa's for the last couple of weeks and Cameron just can't figure out why he can't stay over there until 11pm like Dad. The other night I made him leave with me and the girls before the game was over and boy was he mad. He cried, he sulked, he hid in the closet when he got home... it is tough being 6 sometimes.

Dave: Preparing his talk for the RS Birthday dinner. (Did a great job btw Dave.)

Me: Preparing to do a presentation at Millcreek Jr. High English classes, to sell or not to sell, to buy or not to buy, the economy, bills, Japan... and anything my kids are stressed out about.



Happiness
Lauren: 3 words -- soccer, friends and rugby. Today at their indoor game the girls teams tied the boys U-13 teams and Lauren scored 3 of the 4 goals. She played about as well as I have ever seen her play and she was in heaven tying the boys team with 5 boys from her school. Lauren loves her Jr. High friends and her new social life. It includes Friday walks to Keva, Rugby at Ethan's and thinking they all need to hangout on Friday and Saturday nights!!


Kenzi: 2 nights of recording with Masa. Kenzi gets to do tons of stuff with the choir, but probably her favorite is studio recording. She did two nights in a row -- 4 hours one night and 5 the next. The kids have a great time between takes, enjoy the Chinese/Pizza brought in, and generally just have a great time.

Cameron: Riding Lauren's electric scooter with her... hasn't stopped talking about it -- and in the same week being able to sled with a friend in the yard. (You gotta love Utah spring weather.)

Dave: R.S. night over and doing a great job at it... now he just has to do his High Counsel talk for Sunday.

Me: Going to a few really great exercise classes and feeling healthy, watching BYU do well (until Saturday night), enjoying some family dinners/parties while watching those games and watching Lauren score goals and her team do so well playing soccer.

Carl Bloch Exhibit -- Fabulous... loved the ipad tour

Had a chance to do a quick tour of the Carl Bloch exhibit yesterday while waiting for Kenzi. It was very cool and I loved the ipad tour with it. It was great to hear commentary from the curators, churches that had paintings, references from the paintings from our church leaders. It was a great "cultural" experience, but really touching too!

I am going to try to go back down with Dave -- and probably the kids. Note to self though -- make sure you don't go on a weekday evening. I was there from 5-6 and hardly anyone was there. When I left there was a long line of YM/YW groups coming through. Great activity, but definitely not condusive to the quiet experience I had.

Cinderella Fun!

Another BHS play come and gone. Kenzi loved working with the Sandorfs again and Leila and Angela's little boy. The High School kids were darling and had mock weddings, treats and so much fun with the kids. Kenzi loved the nightly warm-ups, prayer and cheer rituals. Kenzi and Lauren S. are so funny together and loved coming up with funny things to do in the "background." She loved seeing friends there, loved being a mouse and Cinderella and I think especially loved the 2 weeks of heading out to treats after!

16 Years Later... I Still Miss You Mom & Happy Sealing Kenzi

Today is our "we miss you mom" celebration (can it really be 16 years since she died) and our "we love you Makenzie sealing" celebration (can it really be 11 years ago?)

At dinner we shared our favorite things about Makenzie and I had lunch my Jenn and my dad today and started thinking about great things about my mom. Since this blog post can't be 1000 pages, I can't really write all of the great things about her -- but just a few things random memories came to mind.

1. I love that my mom never got mad about water fights at dinner and how many plates/crystal glasses Scott broke over the years.

2. I love that my mom always made everyone feel special and important -- and that I'm pretty sure every boy that dated me secretly was just dating me because of her and praying I'd be like her someday.

3. I loved the fact she and I could talk and talk and talk and talk. While at BYU in the pre-cell phone days it was not uncommon for her phone bill to be over $100 a month with most of the calls going to me. My mom told my dad to never say anything to me about it because she didn't want me to stop calling.

4. I loved all of our Nordstrom shopping trips when we would sit in the dressing room for a few hours trying on outfit after outfit and our friend Becky that worked there would bring us OJ and cookies and hang out with us all afternoon. I’ll never forget our first post mastectomy shopping trip. She wouldn’t buy anything new for a long, long time and it was really traumatic for her to take the first steps to believing she could make it and go on and love her body again someday. And it still makes me laugh that the first time I went to Nordstrom after she died I cried and had to leave ... fortunately and unfortunately her dying ruined my love for shopping and now one of my most favorite past times and things to spend money is no longer shopping.

5. I love that when she and my dad and I went anywhere together (and it was a lot since I was the last at home for several years) we would share the front seat because she didn't want me to have to sit in back alone. (Seriously... we drove 100s of miles with me tilted on my left hip and my bum 1/2 way on her lap!)

6. I love that we shared clothes and look a heck of a lot alike from the waist down. Yes I still laugh about the time I was walking behind Dave and I watched him go up behind my mom -- about to pinch her bum... thinking it was me. In hindsight (no pun intended) I shouldn't have yelled to stop him!

7. I love that when we would go out to dinner on the weekends she would have my dad stop about a mile away from home and she and I would walk the rest of the way home (and that Val will now walk with me on a Saturday nights at 10:00 pm because my body can’t stand to go to be on a super full stomach).

8. I love that she told me to always take the stairs and to this day I still feel guilty if I take an elevator. I also love that she took me to "Jazzercise" classes when I turned 12... I still remember the moves to the song 9 to 5.

9. I love the fact she could never, ever tell and joke and get it right... and since she taught elementary school her jokes were always usually really short/lame and she still couldn't remember them.

10. I love that right up until she died (and even one day in the hospital) she would always tell me to come in and lay on her bed in our jammies on Saturday mornings and we would have a great time just chatting and being together. I will never forget just a few days before she died when she was in the hospital and she asked me to come and snuggle with her. She was so fragile and I was afraid I'd break her but I layed by her in her bed -- and I slept peacefully without a nightmare for the first time in several weeks.

Ok... as I said earlier I could go on and on and on ... I love you mom!!