Mom loves me more because I'm her real child...

Ok… before I explain this story a little bit of background.

• Growing up my sister and I used to always say “I am mom’s favorite – no I am mom’s favorite” etc. Even now we sometimes fight over who is dad’s favorite or who was mom’s favorite.
• My kids have also started that little banter and I “egg” it on a little bit by saying “whoever will hurry and run out and get me jam out of the freezer is my favorite child” and stuff like that.
• A few years ago Cameron was starting to get a complex about not having a birth mother and the girls would kind of tease him for not having one. I’ve always tried to be really open about everything with adoption/sealings/etc. and make sure that none of the kids are internally wondering about what it all means or how I feel about it.

This morning at breakfast Kenzi and Cameron and I were laughing about something and the following conversation occurred:

Kenzi: … so I am mom’s favorite!

Cameron: No I am. I am.

Kenzi: No, I am her favorite.

Cameron: No I am – I’m the only one that was born out of her.

Usually at that point they banter back and forth, I tell them I love them all the same, or Cameron laughs and drops it.

Kenzi: Very sad look on her face.

Cameron: Well it is true. I was the only one born out of her so I am her favorite.

Me: Cameron – you know that isn’t true and it doesn’t matter.

Kenzi: Tears welling up in her eyes.

Me: Cameron, I know we joke about all of this, but you know that it doesn’t matter how you got here, we are all a family and I don’t love anyone differently. Look honey, you’ve made Kenzers feel bad.

Cameron: Face goes red, tears starting running down his cheeks. He can't even look at me or Makenzie.

Kenzi: Face is red, tears are running down her cheeks.

Me: Laughing...that Kenzi is crying because Cameron made her feel bad and then Cameron starts crying because he made Kenzi feel bad. I grab both of their hands and start singing “Cum-by-a”. (sp) Kenzi starts laughing and says I’m weird.

Cameron still distraught that he made his sister feel bad.

In comes a great poem about adoption from the Ensign my choir friend told me about Sunday. I read the poem and we talk about it. Kenzi runs upstairs and gets the Friend – that also had a great story about a family that has both adopted and biological kids. We have a great discussion about sealings, adoption, if Cameron’s friends love their sisters more than Cameron loves Kenzi just because they are “born out of the same mom.”

Finally the tears are gone, we are all smiling and we had a great discussion.

Mom: Good thing Lauren and Dad weren't here -- the non teary Hess' would never understand this!