During my first surgery 6 years ago Jenn Cottle (my go to person in life) gave me a card with a list of scriptures. She called them her comfort scriptures. She said she compiled them while doing Personal Progress and one of her kids was struggling.
When I couldn't sleep I would look them up and read them. As I've had health issues and concerns about kids or YW or life I go them. I've shared this list I don't know how many times! I decided today I'm going to read one each day and write what it means to me. The crazy thing about these scriptures is that depending on my life situation or struggles or good times they something different to me.
Doctrine and Covenants 123:17 -- Therefore dearly belowever brethern, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.
Cheerfully: Ok I don't always have to be happy. I wasn't happy about being kicked out of chemo last week and having to cancel and trip with Dave and Cameron cause of my new schedule. I wasn't happy about missing a dosage and not killing cancer cells. I wasn't happy about messing up the schedules of those taking me to chemo and bringing us meals. But I guess I can always try to remain cheerful. And the NP and Nurses giving me sincere hugs and telling me they were sorry made it so much easier to smile admist the tears. And laugh about Brooke now knowing it was Jenn and me honking at her at the stoplight and then telling us to move along. To open my doors after to my sweet friends Becca and Kristene (who had planned to switch out with Jenn during chemo) and have flowers and lunch and laugh and cry with them rather than feeling sorry for myself! And Cameron telling me the other night after we found out Kenzi didn't get the Leadership scholarship she had worked so hard for and would have been so awesome at -- that I needed to look at the glass half full, not half empty. But I can feel sad but then look at the positive as well.
Cheerfully do all things that lie in our power: Big one for me. I'm a control freak -- I don't want to be but I am. I need to realize I can only have infliuence on so much. So much of my body and health, my kids decisions, YW testimonies, financial issues etc. But it is my responsible to do my best and seek the spirit in life and go to the temple and read my scriptures and serve others -- and then turn it over. My sweet friends did a fast for my white blood counts. I ate really carefully (which isn't supposed to help) and exercised and my friends and family fasted for me. We did everything we could when given a hard situation. I feel that way about my kids. I've made so many parenting mistakes. I wish I could do it all over again. And this is one area where I feel like I need to just do my best and then turn it over to my kids and the Lord. But I certainly am expected to do my part and do everything I can and read and go to the temple and have fun and listen. We have to do all things that lie in our power. Like study hard and not waste time for a test -- like exercising and eating right to get in good shape -- like doing all of the little things that keep the spirit in our lives.
And then may we stand still, with the ustmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed. Such a big one for me. I'm not always a big picture person. My anxiety gets the best of me sometimes and little details and issues become monumental in my head. When I get like this I can follow this counsel. I need to be still, listen to the spirit, look at the eternal perspective, have trust that my kids or YW or even I will make the right decision and if the right decision isn't made then it is ok. But I need to have trust and faith. As I look back on life somehow everything works out. Not perfectly -- or at least not perfectly in my eyes that aren't seeing the big eternal picture and I can't know. Everytime there is a big YW activity I watch this happen. Girl's camp with Karen Brown was the perfect example of this. We plan, we stress, we do crafts, we scavenge for places to stay within our budget, we pray for girls, for weather, for activities, for the spirit, for fun laughter and for tears and times to feel the spirit. Tina Schwab told me a long time ago that in anything like this "Heavenly Father wants it to be sucessful even more than we do -- so we need to do our part and then turn it over to him." I've passed along that advice to leaders over and over again. So last year girls camp was perfect. It was led by Karen of course it would be. The old farm house property near the lake was great. The added sunroom had enough room. The outdoors were lovely and calm and relaxing and helped the girls just want to hang out together. The caves were spectacular and having another group get in before our reservation was a blessing -- we had the darling recently graduated YW leading our tour and tying gospel analogies to everything! Each and every activity was planned so well -- but ultimately Heavenly Father's hand made it just what we needed. In my current cancer situation and with my kids I need to do evverything I can and fight and love and trust and not feel sorry for myself. But then I need to trust and turn it over to my Savior and my Heavenly Father!
2 Nephi 31:20. Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the words of Christ, and endure to the end, behold thus saith the Father: Ye shall have enternal life.
This was the YM/YW theme for Mutual a few years ago and I loved it. It feels so positive and makes me want to look to the future and have hope.
Press froward with a steadfastness in Christ. Press forward. The word press reminds me that life isn't always going to be a "glide" or an "easy walk." Sometimes it might be a "trudge" or a "climb" but we need to be always pressing and moving forward. And how do we do it? With Christ in mind and by our side. I love the scripture in 2 Nephi 25:26 that talk in Christ, rejoice in Christ, preach in Christ so that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. When it is hard or easy or some where in between if we always keep Christ as the focus we won't get bogged down in all of the wordly garbage so easily. If we make mistakes we can keep our eyes forward to Christ and know we will be forgiven. When we are discouraged or tired or sick we can keep trying to press forward toward Christ.
Hope. My goodness if life were just this earth -- the here and now I think I would just give up 1/2 of the time. If the pleasures and worldly recognition of all of this was all that mattered how messed up would I be. When I made mistakes over and over again and I didn't have hope for forgiveness it would be impossible to care to change and grow and be better. Hope for becoming better, for an opportunity to be with Heavenly Father again, for the real eternal stuff has carried me through cancer, parenting, marriage, lonliness, anxiety and many stresses of life.
Love of God and all men. While pressing forward it is easy to focus on yourself. Pressing is hard sometimes. But when my focus is on God and other people it is easier to look outward. When I got cancer 6 years ago after chemo I was feeeling sorry for myslef and anxious about the future. We started delivering food boxes for the Utah Food Bank. I'm reminded each month how blessed I am and the joy we get from these cute widows who need our help and so appreciate our acts of service helps me stay focused. Ronald McDonald House, Candy Cane Corner, Festival of Trees, Special Needs, taking cookies to neighbors, going to the temple ... of these services help me to love people and God even more. I know if I truly love God I'll love His children and serving is what really brings me happiness. During my 3 years of YW president as stressful as it was my focus really was on serving and loving and building testimonies -- and it doing that I had to really build my own. It was easier for me to focus on pressing forward at that time.
Endure to the end and have eternal life. These are both huge. Endure. Oh my goodness that is a big word and a word I have to fall back to often with cancer. I love my life in general but I'm not sure I really understood how hard it would be to be married and have kids and be a good mom and wife and then get cancer and feel crappy and be anxious and worry and sometimes think it would be easier the struggle were over. But I enduring doesn't allow for that. Enduring is hanging in there and finding the good (like my awesome Survivor Teaching Students program and friends and strength and support.) Eternal Life. That is what it is all about. I get to be with my mom My family and friends. This worldly garbage won't matter. There here and now of learning and growing helps us but it is just a blip on the map of getting to Eternal Life.
Doctrine and Covenants 127:4
Doctrine and Covenants 84:88
1 Timothy 4:12
John 14:27
Doctrine and Covenants 84:85
Doctrine and Covenants 6:22, 23
Doctrine and Covenants 6:20
Doctrine and Covenants 6:36
Doctrine and Covenants 112:10, 11
Doctrine and Covenants 98:1-3
Doctrine and Covenants 101:16
Doctrine and Covenants 78:17-20, 22
2 Nephi 4:34
Jacob 4:10
Alma 36:3
Words of Mormon 1:7,8
Mosiah 2:5-6
James 5:14-16
D&C 78:17 - 18
D&C 121
Alma 36:27
Mosiah 24:14
Proverbs 3:5-6
Matthew 11:28-30
Mark 4:36-39
Alma 7:11-13
Alma 37:35-37
Alma 38:5
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