I'll probably die of a heart attack long before I die of cancer.. and some happier thoughts from chemo today

Clinical Trial #3... well 3 down and 9 more to go.

In usual Stephanie fashion, I couldn't have just a normal chemo.  

I've been having some very infrequent heart racing (180 beats per minute) and I had one this morning.  When I go to chemo it was still at about 120 so they did an EKG.  No big deal really, but emotionally I just want to go to chemo one time and zip in and zip out and have no complications and not cry when I go to chemo.  It really isn't that bad, especially when you are getting the chemo, but I just get so emotional on chemo days.

By the time they hooked up the EKG the heart racing was gone -- they think it is not a big deal.  

(In my mom's family her parents and 2 siblings have all died of heart issues -- ranging in age of 39 to mid-60s.  Fortunately my mom seemed to have missed that gene and all of us kids have healthy hearts.

Wouldn't it be ironic, the woman who was sure she would get breast cancer, instead got Ovarian Cancer and died of a heart attack.  Just kidding... I'm a little punchy and wired from the steroid today.  I have been eating like a horse and am wide awake even though I didn't sleep much last night.)

Thankfully my sweet sister Jenn was there so I didn't have to cry alone.  And she and my chemo nurse Dave did some great ice bag set ups to freeze my feet... I'm getting better at this each month.

I learned today that one of the amazing chemo nurses has had an incredibly personal experience with cancer.  His wife died of breast cancer and he was actually her chemo nurse.  He said he loved being able to be the one to take care of her.  She battled it for 13 years, had a 1 year old when diagnosed and then had another baby after 2 years.  She died 2 years ago.  When he told me his story I tried not to cry... amazed that he can go through this and keep doing what he does.  He said he knows what it is like to be a part of this and he wants to make the process easier for those that don't have great outcome and be a part of helping those who beat cancer.

I also ran into my cute friend Sarah and her daughter.  They were the first 2 Dave and I met at chemo class last March.  Her husband just died of alzheimers in October.  Thankfully she has really awesome kids that are helping her through this.   She is so sweet -- I really do love my cancer friends!!!

And... I am helping to coordinate the SL Survivors Teaching Students program for the National Ovarian Cancer Alliance.  We will go into medical, PA and nursing schools and talk to the students about Ovarian Cancer.  There are 5 of us participating from 22 - 65.  I'll be facilitating the program and I finally got everyone's story off to the National Group!!!! Yay... I've been working on finding woman to participate for the past 2 months!!!  Hopefully we will be able to start soon into the new year. 

So, all and all I know I sound like a whiner, but I did have some really bright moments in my chemo day.