Infected ... Rejected

Good news...I know why my ip port has been killing me.  Bad news, I have an infection in my incision there.  


It had been hurting, started to get better and then on Friday evening starting hurting again.  By Saturday night I couldn't find any position that was comfortable to sit, stand or lay.  I couldn't figure out how it was twisted or pinching, but I was a mess.  


When Lisa came to change my other wound on Sunday afternoon she and I noticed my ip port incision was looking red and infected.   I called my Dr., she put me on an antibiotic and I went in Monday morning.  Yes the ip incision port is infected and yeah -- two holes inow!  That is apparently why it had been hurting so much ever since the other infection.  I'm guessing the antibiotic I was on started clear it up, but as soon as I went off the antibiotic the pain/infection came back.  


So... chemo on Monday cancelled.


Problem -- because it is by the ip port there is a chance the infection can spread to my abdominal cavity and to all of the organs.  There is a filter at the end of the catheter that is there to prevent that, but it is a possibility.   And they definitely don't want to access it while I have an infection.  I am really grateful they cancelled my last Monday chemo even though I was feeling good -- the infection was obviously still there and the last thing I want is a major internal infection!


I went back in today to have it checked and they said it looks pretty good -- and they are really hoping I can start chemo again on Monday.  It will be venous for now if they do it and they'll switch the drugs around a bit.  


One benefit -- sometimes they do both chemos on the same day so I wouldn't have to do Monday/Tuesday.  Bad news -- using the ip port and dumping directly is more effective in killing cancer.  


My Drs. will probably wait several weeks, see how the port and infection look and then make a decision about whether or not to do the surgery to remove it.  I don't think they want to give up on it yet -- and they really want me to start some kind of chemo again if possible.


Got to be honest... I've been a little discouraged this week.  This is all completely out of my hands.  Other than trying to eat well and stay healthy, I have no control over what is going to happen and that is frustrating to a control freak like me -- and also it is hard knowing what appears to be best for me long term may not be possible because of the short term potential ramifications. 


Ultimately, this is all in Heavenly Father's hands anyway -- so my goal this week is to just get better, stay positive and trust that the best thing for me will happen.