Four years ago I had my debulking surgery and got the definitive Stage 3c Ovarian Cancer diagnosis.
In some ways it feels like yesterday -- some ways feels like a lifetime ago. I still cry every 6 weeks when I talk about first finding out and having to talk to the kids and tell family and friends.
I can sometimes feel the nausea and pain when I remember laying in bed day after day after day (and watching that weird Channel 11 Dr. show with Billy Ray Syrus after Lisa packing my wounds and taking my morning nap).
I remember so many moments of uncertainty, discouragement, confusion and worry.
But there was so much love and service and hope and peace in scriptures and the temple. New friendships built, current family and friends being there and getting us through it.
Back then I never felt I would die, but I never felt I wouldn't ... I have always just felt neutral. I think I still do. I guess I just feel like the uncertainty and need to just live my life and love it and have trust and work and do the best I can is what I should do.
I've been so blessed! I have a wonderful life!
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